I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
