So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
