ya dads aren't the best wingmen
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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