i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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