Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
