She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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