I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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