I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
