He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
