so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
