He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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