so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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