Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
