Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
