oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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