You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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