all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
