i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
