They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
