So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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