billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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