4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
