I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
