So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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