the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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