at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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