I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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