why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
