Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
