Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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