I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
