is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
