Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
