Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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