I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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