ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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