You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
