no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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