so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
