There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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