where am i from again
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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