im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
