so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm bleeding and have questions
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
