why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
