Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
