i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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