how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
