Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
