I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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