We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
