i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize